Thursday morn: 7 a clock
1725

My Dearest Life! after a very restless
night, I am got Down to y^r Beurow – the History of
England serves me for a Desk, & I use a Pen of my own
making, w^ch last will I hope be a sufficient Excuse for all
y^e faults I may possibly commit before I have Done.
I will not, nay indeed cannot complain, of y^e Little sleep
I have been able to get these two last night; since it has
been made up to me, by allowing me y^e Liberty of Reflection
How y^t Liberty has been Employ’d, Let your own heart, or at
Least y^t Part of it that belongs to me Inform y^o Dear
Dearest Creature! Thou constant Delight, & only Wish of
my Soul! w^th: how great a Degree of Gratitude &
Pleasure do I call to mind y^e numberless Instances you
have Given me, of a Regard, & Tenderness, I would Die a
thousand Deaths to Preserve! My whole happiness depends
on you, your Life, Health & continuing to love me, are
y^e Strongest Desires of my Soul – I hope – never to out live
y^e Enjoyment of these Invaluable Blessings, & Perswade
My self, I was not born to be miserable Enough to know
y^e Want of Either.
My Dear Creature, I Continue very well, and

[f.79v]

fear I shall not yet have y^e happiness to send y^e news
I am sure you are so good to wish – However I hope
a Happy End of this tedious painfull Expectation & y^t
I shall be fully made ammends for all I am to suffer
By Returning Once more w^th you, to Hertingford{^^{bury yt} favourite part
of the World where w^th you, Hours in my account have
Pass’d for moments, & Life it self been measur’d, not by
Time but Happiness. Tis impossible for me to Express y^e
Regrett w^th which I gave y^e up to Quarters – have y^o any
notion of the Pain of Parting w^th all y^t is Dear, valuable, &
Delightfull? if you have, y^e may in some measure Guess at
w^t I felt when only my soul & its fondest wishes had
power to follow you. My Dear, Dear Madan, I Love
& Doat on you w^th the greatest Degree of tenderness &
Passion, you were born for me alone – a thousand may
like, & admire y^o. But I only am made to Love you, as y^o
were Design’d by nature to be lov’d – you answer my every
Wish – if y^o were taller, or shorter, Gayer or Graver, I am
sure I could not Love you so well, no Encrease of fortune,
& w^t is more with most women, no addition of Titles could
advance my affection, & value for you, nor can any
misfortune, not time it self Render y^o less Dear, less
Tenderly Belov’d – my own Soul! Why must I always trouble
you w^th this Heap of needless assurances? I ought rather to be
sure Every motion of a Heart so much y^r own as mine is
perfectly well known to you – But I take a pleasure in
repeating w^t I am {^^{wth Reason}} proud to Discover in my Self. Bear w^th me

[change of orientation]

My Dearest Best Freind, & Bless w^th Speedy mark of y^r Remembrance y^y Entirely aff: & faithfull
J Madan

My Sister Cowper was yesterday morn: Brought to Bed of a Boy
my mother sends her love to you

[f.80]

For
Cap:^t Madan of the Kings Own
Reg^mt of Horse at Witham
near Chemsford In
Essex

Thursday morn: 7 a clock
1725

My Dearest Life! after a very restless
night, I am got Down to y^r Bureau – the History of
England serves me for a Desk, & I use a Pen of my own
making, w^ch last will I hope be a sufficient Excuse for all
y^e faults I may possibly commit before I have Done.
I will not, nay indeed cannot complain, of y^e Little sleep
I have been able to get these two last night; since it has
been made up to me, by allowing me y^e Liberty of Reflection
How y^t Liberty has been Employed, Let your own heart, or at
Least y^t Part of it that belongs to me Inform y^o Dear
Dearest Creature! Thou constant Delight, & only Wish of
my Soul! w^th: how great a Degree of Gratitude &
Pleasure do I call to mind y^e numberless Instances you
have Given me, of a Regard, & Tenderness, I would Die a
thousand Deaths to Preserve! My whole happiness depends
on you, your Life, Health & continuing to love me, are
y^e Strongest Desires of my Soul – I hope – never to out live
y^e Enjoyment of these Invaluable Blessings, & Persuade
My self, I was not born to be miserable Enough to know
y^e Want of Either.
My Dear Creature, I Continue very well, and

[f.79v]

fear I shall not yet have y^e happiness to send y^e news
I am sure you are so good to wish – However I hope
a Happy End of this tedious painful Expectation & y^t
I shall be fully made ammends for all I am to suffer
By Returning Once more w^th you, to Hertingford{^^{bury yt} favourite part
of the World where w^th you, Hours in my account have
Passed for moments, & Life it self been measured, not by
Time but Happiness. Tis impossible for me to Express y^e
Regret w^th which I gave y^e up to Quarters – have y^o any
notion of the Pain of Parting w^th all y^t is Dear, valuable, &
Delightful? if you have, y^e may in some measure Guess at
w^t I felt when only my soul & its fondest wishes had
power to follow you. My Dear, Dear Madan, I Love
& Dote on you w^th the greatest Degree of tenderness &
Passion, you were born for me alone – a thousand may
like, & admire y^o. But I only am made to Love you, as y^o
were Designed by nature to be loved – you answer my every
Wish – if y^o were taller, or shorter, Gayer or Graver, I am
sure I could not Love you so well, no Increase of fortune,
& w^t is more with most women, no addition of Titles could
advance my affection, & value for you, nor can any
misfortune, not time it self Render y^o less Dear, less
Tenderly Beloved – my own Soul! Why must I always trouble
you w^th this Heap of needless assurances? I ought rather to be
sure Every motion of a Heart so much y^r own as mine is
perfectly well known to you – But I take a pleasure in
repeating w^t I am {^^{wth Reason}} proud to Discover in my Self. Bear w^th me

[change of orientation]

My Dearest Best Friend, & Bless w^th Speedy mark of y^r Remembrance y^y Entirely affectionate: & faithful
J Madan

My Sister Cowper was yesterday morn: Brought to Bed of a Boy
my mother sends her love to you

[f.80]

For
Cap:^t Madan of the Kings Own
Reg^mt of Horse at Witham
near Chelmsford In
Essex