July 16th 1680

Though the Lord is still pleas’d to continue my distemper in a great height
(soe y^t now seems to be incurable) & not only to deprive me of y^e use of my tongue
for some short time (wch is frequently) but also some times for several days together
wch makes me incapable of conversing with my friends, wch {^^liberty} is sometimes a great pleasure
to me, & truly at this time (I was apt to promiss my self y^e continuance of it because
it had continued soe long, but since God sees best y^t it should be otherwayes it is my
great comfort y^t my time speech & whatever concerns me are in y^e hands of an allwise &
good God of whom I have some trembling hopes yt by vertue of y^e infinite merrits & satisfaction
of his deare son & not only abillity but willingness to receive y^e cheifest of siners y^t are willing
to receive him, is become to me a reconciled God & most tender hearted father, for I hope
he hath put it into y^e sincere desires of my heart to make an intire unreserved resigna-
=tion of my self soul & body into his most mercyfull hands to be disposed of him in life or
death doeing or suffering as seemeth good unto him if by any way I might but be made
capable of glorifying him whom my soule loveth; if my deceitfull heart doe not deceive me
my soul panteth after him as y^e panting hart after y^e water brooks yea is even ready to breake
with longings for him whose loving kindness & tender mercyes I am not able to utter,
O wretched miserable creature y^t I am, who shall deliver me from y^s body of sine y^s good w^ch
(I would I doe not but ye evill wch (I would not y^t I doe, therefore Dear Sir I most
earnestly intreate you to pray for me y^t y^e Lord (Jesus would take to him his great power &
reigne & rule in my soul y^t this mortall Enemye may be subdued under him & fall before him
y^t I might never more yeild willing obeydience to it but be dayly crucifying y^e flesh with
y^e affections & Lusts till this corruptible shall put on incorruption & mortallity be swallowed up of
life where there shall be noe more sin but an imediate beholding of y^e blessed face of God in christ
& singing Hallelujahs to him y^t siteth on y^e throne & unto y^e Lamb for ever & ever.
and oh y^t God would appeare & shew himself mighty in y^e behalf of his poor despised interest
in these nations y^t notwithstanding y^{e,/sup> may keep plots of his & their Enemyes to lay zion in ye dust
yet it may be seen yt noe wisdom nor council can prevaile against ye Lord who have promised soe to
build his church as yt ye gates of hell shall not prevaile against it, oh yt God would be pleased to poure
downe more of a spirit of prayer & repentance upon ye inhabitants of these nations yt we could
poure out our souls like water before ye face of ye Lord & turne every one from our evill ways, then
might we have some comfortable hopes yt our Lord should not be made a desolution but yt ye {?consurgy}
decreed should overflow with righteousness & succeeding ages have ye glorious Gosple continued to
them not in word only but alsoe in power, wch might make them flow to ye Lord Jesus as doves
unto their windows yt ye Lord alone may be exalted in yt day & all yt worship graven Images
be confounded put to shame & perish.
E. R.}

July 16th 1680

Though the Lord is still pleased to continue my distemper in a great height
(so y^t now seems to be incurable) & not only to deprive me of y^e use of my tongue
for some short time (which is frequently) but also some times for several days together
which makes me incapable of conversing with my friends, which {^^liberty} is sometimes a great pleasure
to me, & truly at this time (I was apt to promise my self y^e continuance of it because
it had continued so long, but since God sees best y^t it should be otherwise it is my
great comfort y^t my time speech & whatever concerns me are in y^e hands of an all wise &
good God of whom I have some trembling hopes y^t by virtue of y^e infinite merits & satisfaction
of his dear son & not only ability but willingness to receive y^e cheifest of sinners y^t are willing
to receive him, is become to me a reconciled God & most tender hearted father, for I hope
he hath put it into y^e sincere desires of my heart to make an entire unreserved resigna-
=tion of my self soul & body into his most merciful hands to be disposed of him in life or
death doing or suffering as seemeth good unto him if by any way I might but be made
capable of glorifying him whom my soul loveth; if my deceitful heart doe not deceive me
my soul panteth after him as y^e panting hart after y^e water brooks yea is even ready to break
with longings for him whose loving kindness & tender mercies I am not able to utter,
O wretched miserable creature y^t I am, who shall deliver me from y^s body of sine y^s good w^ch
(I would I doe not but ye evil which (I would not y^t I doe, therefore Dear Sir I most
earnestly entreat you to pray for me y^t y^e Lord (Jesus would take to him his great power &
reign & rule in my soul y^t this mortal Enemy may be subdued under him & fall before him
y^t I might never more yield willing obedience to it but be daily crucifying y^e flesh with
y^e affections & Lusts till this corruptible shall put on incorruption & mortality be swallowed up of
life where there shall be no more sin but an immediate beholding of y^e blessed face of God in christ
& singing Hallelujahs to him y^t siteth on y^e throne & unto y^e Lamb for ever & ever.
and oh y^t God would appear & shew himself mighty in y^e behalf of his poor despised interest
in these nations y^t notwithstanding y^{e,/sup> may keep plots of his & their Enemies to lay Zion in ye dust
yet it may be seen yt no wisdom nor council can prevail against ye Lord who have promised so to
build his church as yt ye gates of hell shall not prevail against it, oh yt God would be pleased to pour
down more of a spirit of prayer & repentance upon ye inhabitants of these nations yt we could
pour out our souls like water before ye face of ye Lord & turn every one from our evil ways, then
might we have some comfortable hopes yt our Lord should not be made a dissolution but yt ye {?consurgy}
decreed should overflow with righteousness & succeeding ages have ye glorious Gospel continued to
them not in word only but also in power, which might make them flow to ye Lord Jesus as doves
unto their windows yt ye Lord alone may be exalted in yt day & all yt worship graven Images
be confounded put to shame & perish.
E. R.}