Wednesday Morn:
May y^e 13^th: 1724

Your Letter, My Dearest creature; found me
In as melancholy a mood, as you say you were in, wⁿ you rec^d mine;
I was reflecting on, & too sensibly feeling our Separation, the happy
Hours we have known, have but ill prepar’d me for xxx those I now
Endure – I bear up as well as I can, but nature should have
Given less Tenderness to my Soul, or less merit to its best Lov’d object,
If she intended I should w^th any tolerable Ease support y^r absence, no
my Dear, my only Joy! The tears I this moment shed, are an Evidence
y^t I am ungrateful to my Fate, tho I am blest enough to be y^rs
I am miserable – I cannot Live w^th out Seeing You, how tedious &
Heavy are y^e Hours to those y^t have found {^^mee} happy in y^e sight &
Conversation of my Dear, my tender, Faithfull companion – my Best
Friend – my only Treasure, the belov’d Partner of my Heart - & in
One word, my Madan – if there is anything Due to w^t I continually
Feel for you, repay it, by wishing to return, & getting leave to do so.
I hop’d your last would have mention’d a time, sure Friday will
Make up y^t omission: if you love less then I do, this will appear
a strange heap of nonsense to y^o, but if your Soul, as I flatter my
self it does, answers to mine, you will read it as y^e Dictates of a
Heart Dear to you, a Heart y^t is full of your Idea, & y^t Doats on
You, w^th a Passion, y^t {^^{must be}} much be less before it can be discrib’d – my
Dear, Dear Life – receive my sincerest thanks for y^e pleasure you
make every Post bring mee, if it were not for y^t Relief. I should

[f.54v]

Grown into y^e most melancholy Creature breathing – but I will reflect, you
Love me, you remember me, & if I can be cheerfull – I dare not let my
Mother see, or know, how uneasy I am, I am afraid she should think I
Dislike my being Here, I certainly am happier then in my pre^t circum=
=stance I could be any where Else, I have all y^e kindness in y^e world,
I am in a place I love, with people I always have, & must Love, &
Yet, my Dearest Madan! There are hours, I give up to grief, I am
Now by my self, Endulging all y^e Sadness of my soul – I find more
Happiness in weeping for my Madan, then I could pleasure in the
Conversations I use’d most to Delight in, before you made me know
There is but one Creature upon Earth, in whose power it is, to bestow
Solid Happyness – I will Defer w^t I would add more till to
Morrow – till then, aduie my Dearest, Best Life!
Thursday morning. I have been reading your Letter, & Endeavouring from
Thence to get a stock of Cheerfullness, so as to be able to write to you in y^e
Manner I ought – my Heart is revive’d by those Dear assurances you give
Me, I am sure you Love me, & I imagin to my self, you give some
Moments to think on my w^th: y^e tenderness I continuly do of you. To morrow
Is post Day, I shall open my Eyes w^th: pleasure, & Depend on Seeing w^t next
Y^r self, is y^e most Desirable Object I can behold – you need not have
Made an appolegy for giving my your thoughts in y^e manner you Did, I
Always was of y^r opinion, tho without knowing it, & am glad to find my
Sentiments on y^t subject were Just, by seeing they agree with yours.
This will not find you till y^e middle of May, I hope, my Dearest Life
You will not neglect to claim y^e Promise you told me was given you, but
was anothers, is yours, you are Dearer to me, then anything in
nature – My Dear, my own Madan, remember & Love, y^r aff. & faithful
Wife – your entire Friend - & if there can be a Dearer name, Imagin me y^t.
J Madan.

Wednesday Morn:
May y^e 13^th: 1724

Your Letter, My Dearest creature; found me
In as melancholy a mood, as you say you were in, wⁿ you rec^d mine;
I was reflecting on, & too sensibly feeling our Separation, the happy
Hours we have known, have but ill prepared me for xxx those I now
Endure – I bear up as well as I can, but nature should have
Given less Tenderness to my Soul, or less merit to its best Loved object,
If she intended I should w^th any tolerable Ease support y^r absence, no
my Dear, my only Joy! The tears I this moment shed, are an Evidence
y^t I am ungrateful to my Fate, though I am blest enough to be y^rs
I am miserable – I cannot Live w^th out Seeing You, how tedious &
Heavy are y^e Hours to those y^t have found {^^me} happy in y^e sight &
Conversation of my Dear, my tender, Faithfull companion – my Best
Friend – my only Treasure, the beloved Partner of my Heart - & in
One word, my Madan – if there is anything Due to w^t I continually
Feel for you, repay it, by wishing to return, & getting leave to do so.
I hoped your last would have mentioned a time, sure Friday will
Make up y^t omission: if you love less then I do, this will appear
a strange heap of nonsense to y^o, but if your Soul, as I flatter my
self it does, answers to mine, you will read it as y^e Dictates of a
Heart Dear to you, a Heart y^t is full of your Idea, & y^t Dotes on
You, w^th a Passion, y^t {^^{must be}} much be less before it can be described – my
Dear, Dear Life – receive my sincerest thanks for y^e pleasure you
make every Post bring me, if it were not for y^t Relief. I should

[f.54v]

Grown into y^e most melancholy Creature breathing – but I will reflect, you
Love me, you remember me, & if I can be cheerful – I dare not let my
Mother see, or know, how uneasy I am, I am afraid she should think I
Dislike my being Here, I certainly am happier then in my pre^t circum=
=stance I could be any where Else, I have all y^e kindness in y^e world,
I am in a place I love, with people I always have, & must Love, &
Yet, my Dearest Madan! There are hours, I give up to grief, I am
Now by my self, Indulging all y^e Sadness of my soul – I find more
Happiness in weeping for my Madan, then I could pleasure in the
Conversations I used most to Delight in, before you made me know
There is but one Creature upon Earth, in whose power it is, to bestow
Solid Happiness – I will Defer w^t I would add more till to
Morrow – till then, adieu my Dearest, Best Life!
Thursday morning. I have been reading your Letter, & Endeavouring from
Thence to get a stock of Cheerfulness, so as to be able to write to you in y^e
Manner I ought – my Heart is revived by those Dear assurances you give
Me, I am sure you Love me, & I imagine to my self, you give some
Moments to think on my w^th: y^e tenderness I continually do of you. To morrow
Is post Day, I shall open my Eyes w^th: pleasure, & Depend on Seeing w^t next
Y^r self, is y^e most Desirable Object I can behold – you need not have
Made an apology for giving my your thoughts in y^e manner you Did, I
Always was of y^r opinion, though without knowing it, & am glad to find my
Sentiments on y^t subject were Just, by seeing they agree with yours.
This will not find you till y^e middle of May, I hope, my Dearest Life
You will not neglect to claim y^e Promise you told me was given you, but
was anothers, is yours, you are Dearer to me, then anything in
nature – My Dear, my own Madan, remember & Love, y^r aff. & faithful
Wife – your entire Friend - & if there can be a Dearer name, Imagine me y^t.
J Madan.