Tuesday morning.
1724

Yesterday w^ch I Hope’d would have
Brought me Thee, my only Life! Brought me
another cruel disappointment; my stock of
Philosophy is quite exhausted, But I will not
ask y^o for a supply, nor Imagin on this occasion
y^o have any to spare - However Write to me, &
continue to me y^e blessing of knowing I am
remember’d, Lov’d and sometimes Wish’d for, By y^e
creature To whom I have given up my whole Soul;
Thou Dear Eternal Delight {^^of} my Heart! How Long
am I to mourn a Seperation, which is so much
harder to be borne as it is beyond my expectation
tedious - Tuesday sennight was y^e Day you
had fix’d on to Return to Love & me, why my
Madan is my Happiness Delay’d? I sure may
conclude it is necessity y^t Detains you - I will
not think you can still, chuse to be from me, &
when I call to mind y^e Dear assurances you have

[f.40v]

so freely, & constantly given me, Cannot: I Sure
have heard sincerity in thy Beloved voice, & seen
it in my own angels, adorable Eyes - Thou
Dear Creature! I am sat down to open my
Heart to thee, every Sentiment there, & about y^e
Ten Thousandth part of its fondness, I intend to lay
Before you - therefore you must Bear with me, &
Tell me By y^e next post you Forgive Me
tis easy to bring ones self to believe w^t tis impossible
to avoid wishing, I would needs fancy my Father
would call at Northampton, & bring you w^th him, & so
having form’d a Happiness I had no Reason to expect
I meet with the second Disapointment of my own
makeing, however, that did {^^not} make it {^^at} all y^e more
easy to be borne I own I had much adoe to appear so
cheerfull as I ought, But I am now got by my
self, and am in a manner conversing w^th my own
Madan, & will forget, if possible, y^e miles y^t part
us, & fancy my self Perfectly Happy - My
Dearest Soul! When will you come? I Beg y^o would
give me y^e Earliest notice, & when y^o have fix’d a
Day don't let anything Prevent your keeping it

[f.41]

I won't allow even a Ball, to be a sufficient
Excuse for your stay - it is now about, nay
above 3 weeks since y^o Left me, you saw y^e morn
ing y^o went I was growing foolish, & went away
very abruptly, But tell {^^me} my Dearest Dear Life!
Had y^e foreseen so long a stay, would y^o not have
given me a minute or two longer to have seen you
in, & to have heard your Dear Voice? Two posts are
past since I heard from you, But y^r Journey I
Suppose prevented y^r writing, adieu, my Angel!
I love you in the most faithfull, affectionate &
Tender manner.
J Madan

M^rs Betty desires me to say her B^r is not yet discharg’d,
nor has Major Gary taken any notice to him y^t he
Designs it, she therefore begs you would by a Line
remind him of his promise, & desire y^e performance
of it Before y^e winter comes on, w^ch would be, as she
says, a great advantage to her. I writ to you
my Dear by last Thursdays Post, & had by
Sundays, but thought you would be come away.

I Love you.

Tuesday morning.
1724

Yesterday w^ch I Hoped would have
Brought me Thee, my only Life! Brought me
another cruel disappointment; my stock of
Philosophy is quite exhausted, But I will not
ask y^o for a supply, nor Imagine on this occasion
y^o have any to spare - However Write to me, &
continue to me y^e blessing of knowing I am
remembered, Loved and sometimes Wished for, By y^e
creature To whom I have given up my whole Soul;
Thou Dear Eternal Delight {^^of} my Heart! How Long
am I to mourn a Separation, which is so much
harder to be borne as it is beyond my expectation
tedious - Tuesday sennight was y^e Day you
had fixed on to Return to Love & me, why my
Madan is my Happiness Delayed? I sure may
conclude it is necessity y^t Detains you - I will
not think you can still, choose to be from me, &
when I call to mind y^e Dear assurances you have

[f.40v]

so freely, & constantly given me, Cannot: I Sure
have heard sincerity in thy Beloved voice, & seen
it in my own angels, adorable Eyes - Thou
Dear Creature! I am sat down to open my
Heart to thee, every Sentiment there, & about y^e
Ten Thousandth part of its fondness, I intend to lay
Before you - therefore you must Bear with me, &
Tell me By y^e next post you Forgive Me
tis easy to bring ones self to believe w^t tis impossible
to avoid wishing, I would needs fancy my Father
would call at Northampton, & bring you w^th him, & so
having formed a Happiness I had no Reason to expect
I meet with the second Disappointment of my own
making, however, that did {^^not} make it {^^at} all y^e more
easy to be borne I own I had much ado to appear so
cheerful as I ought, But I am now got by my
self, and am in a manner conversing w^th my own
Madan, & will forget, if possible, y^e miles y^t part
us, & fancy my self Perfectly Happy - My
Dearest Soul! When will you come? I Beg y^o would
give me y^e Earliest notice, & when y^o have fixed a
Day don't let anything Prevent your keeping it

[f.41]

I won't allow even a Ball, to be a sufficient
Excuse for your stay - it is now about, nay
above 3 weeks since y^o Left me, you saw y^e morn
ing y^o went I was growing foolish, & went away
very abruptly, But tell {^^me} my Dearest Dear Life!
Had y^e foreseen so long a stay, would y^o not have
given me a minute or two longer to have seen you
in, & to have heard your Dear Voice? Two posts are
past since I heard from you, But y^r Journey I
Suppose prevented y^r writing, adieu, my Angel!
I love you in the most faithful, affectionate &
Tender manner.
J Madan

M^rs Betty desires me to say her B^r is not yet discharged,
nor has Major Gary taken any notice to him y^t he
Designs it, she therefore begs you would by a Line
remind him of his promise, & desire y^e performance
of it Before y^e winter comes on, w^ch would be, as she
says, a great advantage to her. I writ to you
my Dear by last Thursdays Post, & had by
Sundays, but thought you would be come away.

I Love you.