Hertingfordbury Park
Friday noon, 1724

The post does not go out till Sunday, but,
tis impossible for me to support y^e melancholy Hours that will pass
till then without giving some releif to my heart by communicating
part of it to its Dearest best lov’d Object – to forsee I am to live a
tedious week without so much as receiving a line from y^t Dear Hand
Without any account y^t you are well & remember Me with y^e
Tenderness you have taught me to Expect, is too uncomfortable a
prospect for me to bear with any tolerable degree of Cheerfullness, my
own Madan! My Dearest Dear soul! tis you alone y^t can give a
Relish to life and put a value on w^t without you grows flat, &
Insipid - when you were here I us’d to admire y^e view from
my chamber window I have not look’d out above once, or twice, &
when I did found nothing there, to tempt me to look again, w^t
amends can you make me for spoiling my Prospect but by takeing y^e
very first opportunity of restoring it? I envy this paper y^t will so
soon find its way to you, it will touch your Hand, & perhaps Rival
me, and get a place in your Bosom - that dear Bosom! on which I
have so often laid my Head and found more than Repose I cannot say
this without recollecting {^^a} line or two of Congreves
may Discontent be banish’d from y^t Breast,
on whose soft pillow e’vn Dispair might Rest
How miserable must I be when a place there, & in your Heart cannot

[f.38v]

Bestow perfect Happiness! y^e latter is w^t I would fain be sure of for
Life, cannot make you a Patent place of it? I am so unreasonable a
subject, I would not have it in y^e power of my King himself to
turn me out - Forgive me my Dearest Creature & tho I say never
so many silly things, be so good to Impute them to the Wisest of Causes,
my love for you - I have been extravegent, & have not left my
self one assurance to give you, of y^e Excess of tenderness with which I
am yours, but I don't Repent for I am confident everything of y^t sort
is entirely needness - I have taken it into my Head y^t neither anything
I can write, or say can heighten y^e idea you must by this time
have conceived of my Passion, from all ye actions of my Life, w^ch I Date
but from my first acquaintance w^th you adieu my own soul, to
morrow I will indulge myself in conversing w^th you again -
Saturday morn:
I am just up after a very restless night I have slept but Little,
However the Liberty of thinking without Interruption of my Dearest
Creature has made me full amends - in y^e silence, & melancholy
of y^e night I give up my whole soul to thee, thou only object
of my inexpressable Fondness! A thousand, pleasing, Distracting
Ideas presented themselves to my mind, wⁿ I reflected on you as
absent, nothing could Flatter me into Ease but y^e Dear remembrance
y^t you love me - you did not Leave me out of Choice, nor
will stay longer then necessary - I Depend on you my Dearest
Life! be carefull of my Happiness which {^^is} entirely in y^r power
but w^t is not in your power? I that Hate writing above anything
in y^e world could write to you forever, & even now, tho’ my

[f.39]

Second side admonishes me cannot find in my heart to leave off
I must sport sentiments with you tho’ at this Distance - why do
People call marriage loss of Liberty? for my own part, I have lost
by a Happy Experience of y^e contrary, many dreadful notions I
had entertain’d from prejudice, & common Report - has not, my
Dear Madan! our Liberty being paid back to us with interest?
& is it not well laid out in y^e purchase of more real happiness,
then y^e Rest of y^e world can have any idea off?
When Kindred souls like ours together meet
How mild y^e Bondage! and y^e chain how sweet!
In Blest consent agreeing Passions more,
and Hymens bonds, as light as Cupid's Prove
I begin now to Imagine you are thinking of returning to a Little
Quiet corner of y^e world where you are Expected by a Creature
that had rather be yours in such a Retirement then be w^t y^e
vainest of Her Sex would {^^be} thought ---- this {^^is} y^e Last Letter I can
send so as to reach you if you set out from Northampton Saterday
next as you propos’d and as I will hope – in y^e mean time I take
care of my self, that I may be able to walk with you when you
come - I think I am rather better than wⁿ you left me –
if you think me impertinent, for saying so much of my self,
take your revenge the same way ---- farewell my Dearest Soul! my
Best Life, or w^t Expresses more, my Eternaly Belov’d Madan! as
she thinks of you, think, if Possible, of y^r most faithful & aff:
J Madan

My mother sends love to you

Hertingfordbury Park
Friday noon, 1724

The post does not go out till Sunday, but,
tis impossible for me to support y^e melancholy Hours that will pass
till then without giving some relief to my heart by communicating
part of it to its Dearest best loved Object – to foresee I am to live a
tedious week without so much as receiving a line from y^t Dear Hand
Without any account y^t you are well & remember Me with y^e
Tenderness you have taught me to Expect, is too uncomfortable a
prospect for me to bear with any tolerable degree of Cheerfulness, my
own Madan! My Dearest Dear soul! tis you alone y^t can give a
Relish to life and put a value on w^t without you grows flat, &
Insipid - when you were here I used to admire y^e view from
my chamber window I have not looked out above once, or twice, &
when I did found nothing there, to tempt me to look again, w^t
amends can you make me for spoiling my Prospect but by taking y^e
very first opportunity of restoring it? I envy this paper y^t will so
soon find its way to you, it will touch your Hand, & perhaps Rival
me, and get a place in your Bosom - that dear Bosom! on which I
have so often laid my Head and found more than Repose I cannot say
this without recollecting {^^a} line or two of Congreves
may Discontent be banished from y^t Breast,
on whose soft pillow even Despair might Rest
How miserable must I be when a place there, & in your Heart cannot

[f.38v]

Bestow perfect Happiness! y^e latter is w^t I would fain be sure of for
Life, cannot make you a Patent place of it? I am so unreasonable a
subject, I would not have it in y^e power of my King himself to
turn me out - Forgive me my Dearest Creature & though I say never
so many silly things, be so good to Impute them to the Wisest of Causes,
my love for you - I have been extravagant, & have not left my
self one assurance to give you, of y^e Excess of tenderness with which I
am yours, but I don't Repent for I am confident everything of y^t sort
is entirely needness - I have taken it into my Head y^t neither anything
I can write, or say can heighten y^e idea you must by this time
have conceived of my Passion, from all ye actions of my Life, w^ch I Date
but from my first acquaintance w^th you adieu my own soul, to
morrow I will indulge myself in conversing w^th you again -
Saturday morn:
I am just up after a very restless night I have slept but Little,
However the Liberty of thinking without Interruption of my Dearest
Creature has made me full amends - in y^e silence, & melancholy
of y^e night I give up my whole soul to thee, thou only object
of my inexpressible Fondness! A thousand, pleasing, Distracting
Ideas presented themselves to my mind, wⁿ I reflected on you as
absent, nothing could Flatter me into Ease but y^e Dear remembrance
y^t you love me - you did not Leave me out of Choice, nor
will stay longer then necessary - I Depend on you my Dearest
Life! be careful of my Happiness which {^^is} entirely in y^r power
but w^t is not in your power? I that Hate writing above anything
in y^e world could write to you forever, & even now, though’ my

[f.39]

Second side admonishes me cannot find in my heart to leave off
I must sport sentiments with you though’ at this Distance - why do
People call marriage loss of Liberty? for my own part, I have lost
by a Happy Experience of y^e contrary, many dreadful notions I
had entertained from prejudice, & common Report - has not, my
Dear Madan! our Liberty being paid back to us with interest?
& is it not well laid out in y^e purchase of more real happiness,
then y^e Rest of y^e world can have any idea off?
When Kindred souls like ours together meet
How mild y^e Bondage! and y^e chain how sweet!
In Blest consent agreeing Passions more,
and Hymens bonds, as light as Cupid's Prove
I begin now to Imagine you are thinking of returning to a Little
Quiet corner of y^e world where you are Expected by a Creature
that had rather be yours in such a Retirement then be w^t y^e
vainest of Her Sex would {^^be} thought ---- this {^^is} y^e Last Letter I can
send so as to reach you if you set out from Northampton Saturday
next as you proposed and as I will hope – in y^e mean time I take
care of my self, that I may be able to walk with you when you
come - I think I am rather better than wⁿ you left me –
if you think me impertinent, for saying so much of my self,
take your revenge the same way ---- farewell my Dearest Soul! my
Best Life, or w^t Expresses more, my Eternally Beloved Madan! as
she thinks of you, think, if Possible, of y^r most faithful & aff:
J Madan

My mother sends love to you