681 - Judith Madan to Martin Madan, 1724
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Hertingfordbury Park
Friday noon, 1724
The post does not go out till Sunday, but,
tis impossible for me to support ye melancholy Hours that will pass
till then without giving some releif to my heart by communicating
part of it to its Dearest best lov’d Object – to forsee I am to live a
tedious week without so much as receiving a line from yt Dear Hand
Without any account yt you are well & remember Me with ye
Tenderness you have taught me to Expect, is too uncomfortable a
prospect for me to bear with any tolerable degree of Cheerfullness, my
own Madan! My Dearest Dear soul! tis you alone yt can give a
Relish to life and put a value on wt without you grows flat, &
Insipid - when you were here I us’d to admire ye view from
my chamber window I have not look’d out above once, or twice, &
when I did found nothing there, to tempt me to look again, wt
amends can you make me for spoiling my Prospect but by takeing ye
very first opportunity of restoring it? I envy this paper yt will so
soon find its way to you, it will touch your Hand, & perhaps Rival
me, and get a place in your Bosom - that dear Bosom! on which I
have so often laid my Head and found more than Repose I cannot say
this without recollecting {^a} line or two of Congreves
may Discontent be banish’d from yt Breast,
on whose soft pillow e’vn Dispair might Rest
How miserable must I be when a place there, & in your Heart cannot
[f.38v]
Bestow perfect Happiness! ye latter is wt I would fain be sure of for
Life, cannot make you a Patent place of it? I am so unreasonable a
subject, I would not have it in ye power of my King himself to
turn me out - Forgive me my Dearest Creature & tho I say never
so many silly things, be so good to Impute them to the Wisest of Causes,
my love for you - I have been extravegent, & have not left my
self one assurance to give you, of ye Excess of tenderness with which I
am yours, but I don't Repent for I am confident everything of yt sort
is entirely needness - I have taken it into my Head yt neither anything
I can write, or say can heighten ye idea you must by this time
have conceived of my Passion, from all ye actions of my Life, wch I Date
but from my first acquaintance wth you adieu my own soul, to
morrow I will indulge myself in conversing wth you again -
Saturday morn:
I am just up after a very restless night I have slept but Little,
However the Liberty of thinking without Interruption of my Dearest
Creaturehas made me full amends - in ye silence, & melancholy
of ye night I give up my whole soul to thee, thou only object
of my inexpressable Fondness! A thousand, pleasing, Distracting
Ideas presented themselves to my mind, wn I reflected on you as
absent, nothing could Flatter me into Ease but ye Dear remembrance
yt you love me - you did not Leave me out of Choice, nor
will stay longer then necessary - I Depend on you my Dearest
Life! be carefull of my Happiness which {^is} entirely in yr power
but wt is not in your power? I that Hate writing above anything
in ye world could write to you forever, & even now, tho’ my
[f.39]
Second side admonishes me cannot find in my heart to leave off
I must sport sentiments with you tho’ at this Distance - why do
People call marriage loss of Liberty? for my own part, I have lost
by a Happy Experience of ye contrary, many dreadful notions I
had entertain’d from prejudice, & common Report - has not, my
Dear Madan! our Liberty being paid back to us with interest?
& is it not well laid out in ye purchase of more real happiness,
then ye Rest of ye world can have any idea off?
When Kindred souls like ours together meet
How mild ye Bondage! and ye chain how sweet!
In Blest consent agreeing Passions more,
and Hymens bonds, as light as Cupid's Prove
I begin now to Imagine you are thinking of returning to a Little
Quiet corner of ye world where you are Expected by a Creature
that had rather be yours in such a Retirement then be wt ye
vainest of Her Sex would {^be} thought ---- this {^is} ye Last Letter I can
send so as to reach you if you set out from Northampton Saterday
next as you propos’d and as I will hope – in ye mean time I take
care of my self, that I may be able to walk with you when you
come - I think I am rather better than wn you left me –
if you think me impertinent, for saying so much of my self,
take your revenge the same way ---- farewell my Dearest Soul! my
Best Life, or wt Expresses more, my Eternaly Belov’d Madan! as
she thinks of you, think, if Possible, of yr most faithful & aff:
J Madan
My mother sends love to you
Friday noon, 1724
The post does not go out till Sunday, but,
tis impossible for me to support ye melancholy Hours that will pass
till then without giving some releif to my heart by communicating
part of it to its Dearest best lov’d Object – to forsee I am to live a
tedious week without so much as receiving a line from yt Dear Hand
Without any account yt you are well & remember Me with ye
Tenderness you have taught me to Expect, is too uncomfortable a
prospect for me to bear with any tolerable degree of Cheerfullness, my
own Madan! My Dearest Dear soul! tis you alone yt can give a
Relish to life and put a value on wt without you grows flat, &
Insipid - when you were here I us’d to admire ye view from
my chamber window I have not look’d out above once, or twice, &
when I did found nothing there, to tempt me to look again, wt
amends can you make me for spoiling my Prospect but by takeing ye
very first opportunity of restoring it? I envy this paper yt will so
soon find its way to you, it will touch your Hand, & perhaps Rival
me, and get a place in your Bosom - that dear Bosom! on which I
have so often laid my Head and found more than Repose I cannot say
this without recollecting {^a} line or two of Congreves
may Discontent be banish’d from yt Breast,
on whose soft pillow e’vn Dispair might Rest
How miserable must I be when a place there, & in your Heart cannot
[f.38v]
Bestow perfect Happiness! ye latter is wt I would fain be sure of for
Life, cannot make you a Patent place of it? I am so unreasonable a
subject, I would not have it in ye power of my King himself to
turn me out - Forgive me my Dearest Creature & tho I say never
so many silly things, be so good to Impute them to the Wisest of Causes,
my love for you - I have been extravegent, & have not left my
self one assurance to give you, of ye Excess of tenderness with which I
am yours, but I don't Repent for I am confident everything of yt sort
is entirely needness - I have taken it into my Head yt neither anything
I can write, or say can heighten ye idea you must by this time
have conceived of my Passion, from all ye actions of my Life, wch I Date
but from my first acquaintance wth you adieu my own soul, to
morrow I will indulge myself in conversing wth you again -
Saturday morn:
I am just up after a very restless night I have slept but Little,
However the Liberty of thinking without Interruption of my Dearest
Creature
of ye night I give up my whole soul to thee, thou only object
of my inexpressable Fondness! A thousand, pleasing, Distracting
Ideas presented themselves to my mind, wn I reflected on you as
absent, nothing could Flatter me into Ease but ye Dear remembrance
yt you love me - you did not Leave me out of Choice, nor
will stay longer then necessary - I Depend on you my Dearest
Life! be carefull of my Happiness which {^is} entirely in yr power
but wt is not in your power? I that Hate writing above anything
in ye world could write to you forever, & even now, tho’ my
[f.39]
Second side admonishes me cannot find in my heart to leave off
I must sport sentiments with you tho’ at this Distance - why do
People call marriage loss of Liberty? for my own part, I have lost
by a Happy Experience of ye contrary, many dreadful notions I
had entertain’d from prejudice, & common Report - has not, my
Dear Madan! our Liberty being paid back to us with interest?
& is it not well laid out in ye purchase of more real happiness,
then ye Rest of ye world can have any idea off?
When Kindred souls like ours together meet
How mild ye Bondage! and ye chain how sweet!
In Blest consent agreeing Passions more,
and Hymens bonds, as light as Cupid's Prove
I begin now to Imagine you are thinking of returning to a Little
Quiet corner of ye world where you are Expected by a Creature
that had rather be yours in such a Retirement then be wt ye
vainest of Her Sex would {^be} thought ---- this {^is} ye Last Letter I can
send so as to reach you if you set out from Northampton Saterday
next as you propos’d and as I will hope – in ye mean time I take
care of my self, that I may be able to walk with you when you
come - I think I am rather better than wn you left me –
if you think me impertinent, for saying so much of my self,
take your revenge the same way ---- farewell my Dearest Soul! my
Best Life, or wt Expresses more, my Eternaly Belov’d Madan! as
she thinks of you, think, if Possible, of yr most faithful & aff:
J Madan
My mother sends love to you
Hertingfordbury Park
Friday noon, 1724
The post does not go out till Sunday, but,
tis impossible for me to support ye melancholy Hours that will pass
till then without giving some relief to my heart by communicating
part of it to its Dearest best loved Object – to foresee I am to live a
tedious week without so much as receiving a line from yt Dear Hand
Without any account yt you are well & remember Me with ye
Tenderness you have taught me to Expect, is too uncomfortable a
prospect for me to bear with any tolerable degree of Cheerfulness, my
own Madan! My Dearest Dear soul! tis you alone yt can give a
Relish to life and put a value on wt without you grows flat, &
Insipid - when you were here I used to admire ye view from
my chamber window I have not looked out above once, or twice, &
when I did found nothing there, to tempt me to look again, wt
amends can you make me for spoiling my Prospect but by taking ye
very first opportunity of restoring it? I envy this paper yt will so
soon find its way to you, it will touch your Hand, & perhaps Rival
me, and get a place in your Bosom - that dear Bosom! on which I
have so often laid my Head and found more than Repose I cannot say
this without recollecting {^a} line or two of Congreves
may Discontent be banished from yt Breast,
on whose soft pillow even Despair might Rest
How miserable must I be when a place there, & in your Heart cannot
[f.38v]
Bestow perfect Happiness! ye latter is wt I would fain be sure of for
Life, cannot make you a Patent place of it? I am so unreasonable a
subject, I would not have it in ye power of my King himself to
turn me out - Forgive me my Dearest Creature & though I say never
so many silly things, be so good to Impute them to the Wisest of Causes,
my love for you - I have been extravagant, & have not left my
self one assurance to give you, of ye Excess of tenderness with which I
am yours, but I don't Repent for I am confident everything of yt sort
is entirely needness - I have taken it into my Head yt neither anything
I can write, or say can heighten ye idea you must by this time
have conceived of my Passion, from all ye actions of my Life, wch I Date
but from my first acquaintance wth you adieu my own soul, to
morrow I will indulge myself in conversing wth you again -
Saturday morn:
I am just up after a very restless night I have slept but Little,
However the Liberty of thinking without Interruption of my Dearest
Creaturehas made me full amends - in ye silence, & melancholy
of ye night I give up my whole soul to thee, thou only object
of my inexpressible Fondness! A thousand, pleasing, Distracting
Ideas presented themselves to my mind, wn I reflected on you as
absent, nothing could Flatter me into Ease but ye Dear remembrance
yt you love me - you did not Leave me out of Choice, nor
will stay longer then necessary - I Depend on you my Dearest
Life! be careful of my Happiness which {^is} entirely in yr power
but wt is not in your power? I that Hate writing above anything
in ye world could write to you forever, & even now, though’ my
[f.39]
Second side admonishes me cannot find in my heart to leave off
I must sport sentiments with you though’ at this Distance - why do
People call marriage loss of Liberty? for my own part, I have lost
by a Happy Experience of ye contrary, many dreadful notions I
had entertained from prejudice, & common Report - has not, my
Dear Madan! our Liberty being paid back to us with interest?
& is it not well laid out in ye purchase of more real happiness,
then ye Rest of ye world can have any idea off?
When Kindred souls like ours together meet
How mild ye Bondage! and ye chain how sweet!
In Blest consent agreeing Passions more,
and Hymens bonds, as light as Cupid's Prove
I begin now to Imagine you are thinking of returning to a Little
Quiet corner of ye world where you are Expected by a Creature
that had rather be yours in such a Retirement then be wt ye
vainest of Her Sex would {^be} thought ---- this {^is} ye Last Letter I can
send so as to reach you if you set out from Northampton Saturday
next as you proposed and as I will hope – in ye mean time I take
care of my self, that I may be able to walk with you when you
come - I think I am rather better than wn you left me –
if you think me impertinent, for saying so much of my self,
take your revenge the same way ---- farewell my Dearest Soul! my
Best Life, or wt Expresses more, my Eternally Beloved Madan! as
she thinks of you, think, if Possible, of yr most faithful & aff:
J Madan
My mother sends love to you
Friday noon, 1724
The post does not go out till Sunday, but,
tis impossible for me to support ye melancholy Hours that will pass
till then without giving some relief to my heart by communicating
part of it to its Dearest best loved Object – to foresee I am to live a
tedious week without so much as receiving a line from yt Dear Hand
Without any account yt you are well & remember Me with ye
Tenderness you have taught me to Expect, is too uncomfortable a
prospect for me to bear with any tolerable degree of Cheerfulness, my
own Madan! My Dearest Dear soul! tis you alone yt can give a
Relish to life and put a value on wt without you grows flat, &
Insipid - when you were here I used to admire ye view from
my chamber window I have not looked out above once, or twice, &
when I did found nothing there, to tempt me to look again, wt
amends can you make me for spoiling my Prospect but by taking ye
very first opportunity of restoring it? I envy this paper yt will so
soon find its way to you, it will touch your Hand, & perhaps Rival
me, and get a place in your Bosom - that dear Bosom! on which I
have so often laid my Head and found more than Repose I cannot say
this without recollecting {^a} line or two of Congreves
may Discontent be banished from yt Breast,
on whose soft pillow even Despair might Rest
How miserable must I be when a place there, & in your Heart cannot
[f.38v]
Bestow perfect Happiness! ye latter is wt I would fain be sure of for
Life, cannot make you a Patent place of it? I am so unreasonable a
subject, I would not have it in ye power of my King himself to
turn me out - Forgive me my Dearest Creature & though I say never
so many silly things, be so good to Impute them to the Wisest of Causes,
my love for you - I have been extravagant, & have not left my
self one assurance to give you, of ye Excess of tenderness with which I
am yours, but I don't Repent for I am confident everything of yt sort
is entirely needness - I have taken it into my Head yt neither anything
I can write, or say can heighten ye idea you must by this time
have conceived of my Passion, from all ye actions of my Life, wch I Date
but from my first acquaintance wth you adieu my own soul, to
morrow I will indulge myself in conversing wth you again -
Saturday morn:
I am just up after a very restless night I have slept but Little,
However the Liberty of thinking without Interruption of my Dearest
Creature
of ye night I give up my whole soul to thee, thou only object
of my inexpressible Fondness! A thousand, pleasing, Distracting
Ideas presented themselves to my mind, wn I reflected on you as
absent, nothing could Flatter me into Ease but ye Dear remembrance
yt you love me - you did not Leave me out of Choice, nor
will stay longer then necessary - I Depend on you my Dearest
Life! be careful of my Happiness which {^is} entirely in yr power
but wt is not in your power? I that Hate writing above anything
in ye world could write to you forever, & even now, though’ my
[f.39]
Second side admonishes me cannot find in my heart to leave off
I must sport sentiments with you though’ at this Distance - why do
People call marriage loss of Liberty? for my own part, I have lost
by a Happy Experience of ye contrary, many dreadful notions I
had entertained from prejudice, & common Report - has not, my
Dear Madan! our Liberty being paid back to us with interest?
& is it not well laid out in ye purchase of more real happiness,
then ye Rest of ye world can have any idea off?
When Kindred souls like ours together meet
How mild ye Bondage! and ye chain how sweet!
In Blest consent agreeing Passions more,
and Hymens bonds, as light as Cupid's Prove
I begin now to Imagine you are thinking of returning to a Little
Quiet corner of ye world where you are Expected by a Creature
that had rather be yours in such a Retirement then be wt ye
vainest of Her Sex would {^be} thought ---- this {^is} ye Last Letter I can
send so as to reach you if you set out from Northampton Saturday
next as you proposed and as I will hope – in ye mean time I take
care of my self, that I may be able to walk with you when you
come - I think I am rather better than wn you left me –
if you think me impertinent, for saying so much of my self,
take your revenge the same way ---- farewell my Dearest Soul! my
Best Life, or wt Expresses more, my Eternally Beloved Madan! as
she thinks of you, think, if Possible, of yr most faithful & aff:
J Madan
My mother sends love to you
Details
Judith Madan to Martin Madan, 1724
A detailed letter written in the first year of their marriage. Judith has written it over several days while Martin is in Northamptonshire, she talks of looking forward to taking up her pen to continue the letter the next day and continue ‘conversing’ with him. Without him she has lost some of the pleasure of life – she no longer enjoys looking at the view from her window. The letter is filled with embodied language: she hates being separated from him and his dear hand, she described him as her dear soul and says that writing gives relief to her heart. She is jealous of the letter because it will get to touch his hand, and perhaps be held to his bosom, much sooner than she will get the same opportunity. When she continues the letter the next morning she has not slept very well, she has been thinking of him overnight. She usually hates writing but could write to him forever. In his absence she has been looking after herself to ensure she will be able to walk with him when he returns – she is better than when he left her.
Madan Family
Eng Letter C.284 f.38
Bodleian Libraries, University of Oxford
1724
Hertingfordbury Park [Hertfordshire, England]
Northamptonshire [England]
People
Person: Judith Madan
View full details of Person: Judith Madan
primary author
- head
- heart
- mind
- looking
- resting
- sleeping
- thinking
- walking
- writing
- bored
- melancholy
- separation
well
- feeling
- happy
- hopeful
- love (romantic)
- low
- sorrow
self
touch
- exercise
- rest
marriage
health - improving
Person: Martin Madan
View full details of Person: Martin Madan
primary addressee
- body
- hands
- heart
- travel
- visiting
separation
- feeling
- love (romantic)
- disposition
- soul
marriage
How to Cite
To Cite this Letter
Judith Madan to Martin Madan, 1724, 1724: Bodleian Libraries, University of Oxford, Madan Family, Eng Letter C.284 f.38
To Cite this Edition
Material Identities, Social Bodies: Embodiment in British Letters c.1680-1820. Compiled by: Karen Harvey, Helen Esfandiary, Sarah Fox, Emily Vine, University of Birmingham. Project funded by the Leverhulme Trust (2021-2025, Ref. RPG-2020-163), https://socialbodies.bham.ac.uk.