652 - Judith Cowper to Martin Madan, 1723
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Saturday morn:
I cannot call to mind ye Weakness I have been guilty of, in
your favour, wthout feeling a Pain I am too confus’d to Discribe – consider me
a Little, & when I see you to morrow, give me no hints of my Folly, I Dare
not yet give it a softer name. Are you not a most unreasonable creature? Do
you think it in my Power to give you greater proofs then I have already of my
Regard & Esteem? What is there Left for me to say? & Yet by your Letter you
seem to think I have done nothing for you – Ought you not be intirely
satisfied when I say, I will be Only yours, ought you not out of common
gratitude to fancy your self Happy when I go so far as to, Assure you, I
am nither Dissatisfied, nor miserable, when {^you} tell me, (& sure you have
told me so) you will be only mine? Yet it is Possible you may change, I
may grow of a Slighter Value to you – if it shoud happen so – I own I can
= not blame you, but I must Eternaly Blame my self, my conduct, & want
of Power to fix a Heart yt in so many respects answers to my own.
You have obligations to me, Madan, wch>/sup> I never yet Laid on Any Mortal
Be as gratefull as your Sex will let you Be, & Believe this, my freindship
[f.31v]
for you, which can never conclude but with my Life (give me ye same assurance)
is only Equal to ye merit yt Inspir’d it; but this you are ye worst Judge in ye
world of & tis ye only thing next to your opinion of me, I would {^not} have you not
Judge rightly in. The more I would say, ye less I am able to say, & therefore I
will only add – you say you esteem me, remember I am vain Enough to believe
you – after this confession, continue to Esteem me if you can.
J Cowper
I cannot call to mind ye Weakness I have been guilty of, in
your favour, wthout feeling a Pain I am too confus’d to Discribe – consider me
a Little, & when I see you to morrow, give me no hints of my Folly, I Dare
not yet give it a softer name. Are you not a most unreasonable creature? Do
you think it in my Power to give you greater proofs then I have already of my
Regard & Esteem? What is there Left for me to say? & Yet by your Letter you
seem to think I have done nothing for you – Ought you not be intirely
satisfied when I say, I will be Only yours, ought you not out of common
gratitude to fancy your self Happy when I go so far as to, Assure you, I
am nither Dissatisfied, nor miserable, when {^you} tell me, (& sure you have
told me so) you will be only mine? Yet it is Possible you may change, I
may grow of a Slighter Value to you – if it shoud happen so – I own I can
= not blame you, but I must Eternaly Blame my self, my conduct, & want
of Power to fix a Heart yt in so many respects answers to my own.
You have obligations to me, Madan, wch>/sup> I never yet Laid on Any Mortal
Be as gratefull as your Sex will let you Be, & Believe this, my freindship
[f.31v]
for you, which can never conclude but with my Life (give me ye same assurance)
is only Equal to ye merit yt Inspir’d it; but this you are ye worst Judge in ye
world of & tis ye only thing next to your opinion of me, I would {^not} have you not
Judge rightly in. The more I would say, ye less I am able to say, & therefore I
will only add – you say you esteem me, remember I am vain Enough to believe
you – after this confession, continue to Esteem me if you can.
J Cowper
Saturday morn:
I cannot call to mind ye Weakness I have been guilty of, in
your favour, wthout feeling a Pain I am too confused to Describe – consider me
a Little, & when I see you to morrow, give me no hints of my Folly, I Dare
not yet give it a softer name. Are you not a most unreasonable creature? Do
you think it in my Power to give you greater proofs then I have already of my
Regard & Esteem? What is there Left for me to say? & Yet by your Letter you
seem to think I have done nothing for you – Ought you not be entirely
satisfied when I say, I will be Only yours, ought you not out of common
gratitude to fancy your self Happy when I go so far as to, Assure you, I
am neither Dissatisfied, nor miserable, when {^you} tell me, (& sure you have
told me so) you will be only mine? Yet it is Possible you may change, I
may grow of a Slighter Value to you – if it should happen so – I own I can
= not blame you, but I must Eternally Blame my self, my conduct, & want
of Power to fix a Heart yt in so many respects answers to my own.
You have obligations to me, Madan, wch>/sup> I never yet Laid on Any Mortal
Be as grateful as your Sex will let you Be, & Believe this, my friendship
[f.31v]
for you, which can never conclude but with my Life (give me ye same assurance)
is only Equal to ye merit yt Inspired it; but this you are ye worst Judge in ye
world of & tis ye only thing next to your opinion of me, I would {^not} have you not
Judge rightly in. The more I would say, ye less I am able to say, & therefore I
will only add – you say you esteem me, remember I am vain Enough to believe
you – after this confession, continue to Esteem me if you can.
J Cowper
I cannot call to mind ye Weakness I have been guilty of, in
your favour, wthout feeling a Pain I am too confused to Describe – consider me
a Little, & when I see you to morrow, give me no hints of my Folly, I Dare
not yet give it a softer name. Are you not a most unreasonable creature? Do
you think it in my Power to give you greater proofs then I have already of my
Regard & Esteem? What is there Left for me to say? & Yet by your Letter you
seem to think I have done nothing for you – Ought you not be entirely
satisfied when I say, I will be Only yours, ought you not out of common
gratitude to fancy your self Happy when I go so far as to, Assure you, I
am neither Dissatisfied, nor miserable, when {^you} tell me, (& sure you have
told me so) you will be only mine? Yet it is Possible you may change, I
may grow of a Slighter Value to you – if it should happen so – I own I can
= not blame you, but I must Eternally Blame my self, my conduct, & want
of Power to fix a Heart yt in so many respects answers to my own.
You have obligations to me, Madan, wch>/sup> I never yet Laid on Any Mortal
Be as grateful as your Sex will let you Be, & Believe this, my friendship
[f.31v]
for you, which can never conclude but with my Life (give me ye same assurance)
is only Equal to ye merit yt Inspired it; but this you are ye worst Judge in ye
world of & tis ye only thing next to your opinion of me, I would {^not} have you not
Judge rightly in. The more I would say, ye less I am able to say, & therefore I
will only add – you say you esteem me, remember I am vain Enough to believe
you – after this confession, continue to Esteem me if you can.
J Cowper
Details
Judith Cowper to Martin Madan, 1723
Cowper reassures Madan that her heart belongs entirely to him, and that her feelings for him are true. She resents his accusation that she was hesitant to accept his proposal. She believes that she will be true to him until her death.
Madan Family
Eng Letter C.284, f.31
Bodleian Libraries, University of Oxford
1723
[England]
[England]
People
Person: Judith Madan
View full details of Person: Judith Madan
primary author
heart
- death/dying
- thinking
longevity
- feeling
- happy
- hopeful
- love (romantic)
- confused
- disposition
- mind
- self
pain
courting
Person: Martin Madan
View full details of Person: Martin Madan
primary addressee
heart
- thinking
- visiting
- feeling
- happy
- love (romantic)
disposition
How to Cite
To Cite this Letter
Judith Cowper to Martin Madan, 1723, 1723: Bodleian Libraries, University of Oxford, Madan Family, Eng Letter C.284, f.31
To Cite this Edition
Material Identities, Social Bodies: Embodiment in British Letters c.1680-1820. Compiled by: Karen Harvey, Helen Esfandiary, Sarah Fox, Emily Vine, University of Birmingham. Project funded by the Leverhulme Trust (2021-2025, Ref. RPG-2020-163), https://socialbodies.bham.ac.uk.