1024 - Judith Madan to Martin Madan, 23 November 1736
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1736
I hope by this time; my Last has found it
way to you, I have a Letter from Coz. B who says you have sent to her in
Relation to Her Son: she begs you to take care of this Letter I sent you, yt
she may have it again as it is a kind of Promisery note from him to Her.
I suppose you have seen Sr WmCompany, by this time, He assur’d me he would make my complements to
you, yet my Heart can’t be satisfied wth that – it must Speak for its self
and tell my Dearest Creature! wth how much pain I find eight days yet,
are to Pass, before that Distinguish’d, Happy one arrives, in wch all that I Love,
all that can give transport to my soul, will again Bless my eyes – Expectation
perhaps, may be a Blessing to some – but mine has been so tortur’d by delays
& Hurt by disappointment that I only wish to change it for Possession - & will
gladly resign all the Pleasing Flatterys of Hope. Even the Joy of your dear
Letters --- for the Certainty of taking you one moment in my arms: tis impossible
To Love as I do, and to force wthout Pain, how much of my Life to come is to be
Lost in absence from you – Four months out of every year is too much to
sacrifice to that Idol Interest, and from wt I have already felt. I begin to look
back on our dear cottage wth regret & repent that I ever there accus’d Fortune
who
[f.146v]
under ye mask of friendship has since done – she never took my Dear
Dear, Martin, from me, and Her frowns only serv’d to disclose to me, a
thousand Virtues, & good Qualitys in Him, that would have pass’d unobserv’d
in the Sunshine of Prosperity.
I hope nothing will keep you from me longer then ye st of next month and
wish his majesty may stay till the time you mention. I shall very u{^n}willingly
resign you again… I beg you would continue to bless me wth your Letters
wch I read every night, and as often in the Days as I can get by my self, if
it were not for these aids, I should not support my spirits in any tolerable
Degree… I repeat to my self the words of your last and from those dear
& Faithfull assurances feel a Joy, and cheerfulness, not be express’d by me
nor Bestow’d by any mortal breathing but yrself.
I am glad Martin is well again, Pen is Perfectly so, & sends her
Duty, & thanks for wt you say in yr Postscript. Monntague is not yet return’d
so tis Very Lucky my go
assisting me. Ashley &c is still at Thetford – but to his great trouble
and vexation Budgett is not gone to them, wch puts ye whole of settling,
Furnishing, &c, on them – I fancy by this time they wish they had stay’d
at Northill.
After wt you tell me of Hamilton were to go to town in Feby I should not
doubt of meeting them there, my complements if you see them again.
Pen stands by me, & had given me several kiss’s to send you, wch I take wth
Pleasure from Lips so like yr own – adieu My Dearest Child! My only
Love! My Eternally Belov’d Madan Adieu! J M
Lady Stanhope desires me to send her complements to you: mine
to Sr Wm
[f.147]
The Heavy Hours are almost gone
That Part my Love, and me
My Longing Eyes, again may Hope
Their only Bliss to see
This is a stanza of a song Sr Wm S us’d
often to sing, & I as often in my own mind apply – mention it as by chance,
and you hear it forbear to think of me if you can.
1736
I hope by this time; my Last has found it
way to you, I have a Letter from Coz. B who says you have sent to her in
Relation to Her Son: she begs you to take care of this Letter I sent you, yt
she may have it again as it is a kind of Promissory note from him to Her.
I suppose you have seen Sr WmCompany, by this time, He assured me he would make my complements to
you, yet my Heart can’t be satisfied wth that – it must Speak for its self
and tell my Dearest Creature! wth how much pain I find eight days yet,
are to Pass, before that Distinguished, Happy one arrives, in wch all that I Love,
all that can give transport to my soul, will again Bless my eyes – Expectation
perhaps, may be a Blessing to some – but mine has been so tortured by delays
& Hurt by disappointment that I only wish to change it for Possession - & will
gladly resign all the Pleasing Flatteries of Hope. Even the Joy of your dear
Letters --- for the Certainty of taking you one moment in my arms: tis impossible
To Love as I do, and to force wthout Pain, how much of my Life to come is to be
Lost in absence from you – Four months out of every year is too much to
sacrifice to that Idol Interest, and from wt I have already felt. I begin to look
back on our dear cottage wth regret & repent that I ever there accused Fortune
who
[f.146v]
under ye mask of friendship has since done – she never took my Dear
Dear, Martin, from me, and Her frowns only served to disclose to me, a
thousand Virtues, & good Qualities in Him, that would have passed unobserved
in the Sunshine of Prosperity.
I hope nothing will keep you from me longer then ye st of next month and
wish his majesty may stay till the time you mention. I shall very u{^n}willingly
resign you again… I beg you would continue to bless me wth your Letters
wch I read every night, and as often in the Days as I can get by my self, if
it were not for these aids, I should not support my spirits in any tolerable
Degree… I repeat to my self the words of your last and from those dear
& Faithfull assurances feel a Joy, and cheerfulness, not be expressed by me
nor Bestowed by any mortal breathing but yrself.
I am glad Martin is well again, Pen is Perfectly so, & sends her
Duty, & thanks for wt you say in yr Postscript. Montague is not yet returned
so tis Very Lucky my go
assisting me. Ashley &c is still at Thetford – but to his great trouble
and vexation Budgett is not gone to them, wch puts ye whole of settling,
Furnishing, &c, on them – I fancy by this time they wish they had stayed
at Northill.
After wt you tell me of Hamilton were to go to town in Feby I should not
doubt of meeting them there, my complements if you see them again.
Pen stands by me, & had given me several kiss’s to send you, wch I take wth
Pleasure from Lips so like yr own – adieu My Dearest Child! My only
Love! My Eternally Beloved Madan Adieu! J M
Lady Stanhope desires me to send her complements to you: mine
to Sr Wm
[f.147]
The Heavy Hours are almost gone
That Part my Love, and me
My Longing Eyes, again may Hope
Their only Bliss to see
This is a stanza of a song Sr Wm S us’d
often to sing, & I as often in my own mind apply – mention it as by chance,
and you hear it forbear to think of me if you can.
Judith Madan to Martin Madan, 23 November 1736
Judith can’t wait until the sight of Martin will again bless her eyes, her heart will not be satisfied until then. Her letters give her some joy, because she knows she will soon have the opportunity to embrace him in her arms. To love as intensely as Judith does is to experience pain. She is glad that Martin is well, Pen is also well, and sends several kisses to Martin – Judith is delighted that Pen’s lips looks so much like Martin’s.
Madan Family
Eng Letter C.284 f.146
Bodleian Library, University of Oxford
1736
11
23
Ethrope [Buckinghamshire, England]
[England]
primary author
- arm
- eyes
- heart
- embracing
- looking
- reading
- thinking
separation
- happy
- hopeful
- love (romantic)
- low
- sorrow
- spirit (immaterial)
- memory
- self
- soul
- thought
pain
marriage
primary addressee
- embracing
- travel
- visiting
separation
- happy
- love (romantic)
marriage
other
childhood
well
health - improving
other
lips
kissing
aesthetics
childhood
well
duty
Judith Madan to Martin Madan, 23 November 1736, 23111736: Bodleian Library, University of Oxford, Madan Family, Eng Letter C.284 f.146